In this post we are talking about this nasty thing that feels like little gremlins in your head, it can leave you frozen and even stuck at some of the most important moments in your life. Listen, this is your year, your month, your lifetime to show up big and we are taking an unstoppable approach to living! Are you with me? Yes? Then keep reading to get an edge on overcoming this nasty little thing we call fear!
Let's Dig In!
Have you wanted to start your own business? Put your art out into the world? Ask for what you want in an important relationship? However, you find yourself frozen and can’t get out of the fear of what if...
Fear, dear one, is part of life, but when you’re facing it and make the critical decision, that you're done letting it camp out in your mind. That’s the moment of liberation that defines how you see the scary unknowns. I love the moment when what once had me afraid to act is a thing of the past. When my self-mastery and desire to leap into the unknown wins and I no longer fear that thing. The thing that had me frozen for weeks, months, or even years. One of the keys to overcoming our fear is to identify where it’s coming from so that we can harness its rein on our life and demolish it. We are going to talk about the top reasons we get stopped up in fear and how we can overcome it in two simple steps.
Fear to Fail
We live in a culture that tells us if we win then we are good. We are shown examples of people succeeding seemingly overnight with little to no risk. Well I call BS friend. This is all false media and it has wreaked havoc on our mindset around risk taking. We are so afraid to fail that we decide to hit pause on some of our greatest desires and dreams. Here’s the other side of the coin, what if you try and you succeed? What if you try and you learn? In my book, we don’t fail, we just refine the vision and or focus. Think of failure as a tool to your greatness, never something to fear. So, the next time you tell yourself I don’t want to mess up, make a mistake, or fail…remember you are learning what works and what you like whether you learn or succeed.
Fear that You’re not Enough
This is a doozie! Ladies, this is one of our biggest challenges. We think that we will be found out if we step up and say I am an expert in this or that. We think, I don’t know enough, I’m not pretty enough, I don’t have that degree…the list and excuses go on forever if we let it. We think we will be found out. That we are some kind of fraud if we attempt to own our power. There is this false belief that we must be perfect at it to claim it. This is never the case. Let’s look at it like this, what if we are practitioners? We are practicing and making it a focus in our life; therefore, we have the wisdom in it. In all of the work I have taught over the years, what all of the areas have in common is that I had first-hand experience in it. I didn’t perfect it; I just found a path through it and got far enough in my journey to then share what I learned with others. Enoughness is a state of mind, one that we do have power over when we give it attention and focus. The trick is in knowing it’s a wound and then turning into an illuminator of what is holding you back from your dreams and desires.
Fear of Judgement
For our third area of focus let's unveil one of the biggest false beliefs we face. We all want to be loved and accepted. And this is a beautiful thing to seek in our relationships, but tell me if this sounds familiar…I say yes when I really want to say no, or I disagree but I will keep my opinion to myself, and even the inner critic that I refer to as Chatty Kathy…that inner gremlin that can be our worse enemy. She judges you and belittles you which often becomes crippling self-judgement. The lies from judgement mistakenly become our truth and as soon as someone judges an area of our weaknesses that we are hyper critical about already...it becomes the trifecta! I believe I'm bad....You believe I'm bad..therefore I'm bad! Then we spiral and it can take days or longer to pull ourself out of the hole. Thank goodness for good friends and margaritas..Am I right!?!
2 Steps to Move Fear
So how do we overcome these fears in two simple steps? We don’t fight against it and we don’t ignore it…we do the following:
1. Recognize it!
2. Love and Accept Ourselves!
Yes, my friend, we don’t need to change who we are, we must allow ourselves to be human and we must get honest with how fear controls us at times. We can either let the fear gremlin get us or we can transmute that fear to some serious self-love.
You see we are only held captive to what we run from. Whether you are facing fear of failure, fear of being enough, or fear of being judged we can simply stop the runaway train by stopping and looking at it. Allow ourselves to feel that fear and pivot it into love and a little self-acceptance. We have such a beautiful opportunity to share our gifts with the world and I want the world to feel your magic. I want to see you as an unstoppable force, because we learn from both love and fear we just get to decide what energy we feed.